Another weird and wonderful week in the life of Sian, full of little ups and downs that life brings us all. The start of the week was very upsetting and hard for a lot of people back home and I decided to post my blog on journeys in a bid to try and make others feel a little bit better about this journey we are all on. After around 10 minutes I decided that I was too nervous to post my blog right now and deleted it again. My blog on Journeys has been the most open and honest I have been about how deep my anxiety and depression have been at stages in my life and I was so nervous about what people would think of me.
This is definitely my biggest fall back and every time I post about my blog I get nervous about the negative views that it will be receiving. After a day, my friend asked to see this blog, who after reading, asked if she could share it as it really touched her. This made me step back and think… if my blog is helping at least one person in this world, surely that is what is the focus. I know that at times, I needed someone to speak out openly about what they go through to make me feel less lonely, of which, one person did.
I came to the realisation that I have told myself time and time again and that is, people will always have their views on what you are doing but you cannot please everyone or worry about what they think. As long as you have a good heart, that is all that matters.
My quote of the week is: When I is replaced with We even ‘illness’ becomes ‘wellness’.
This is one of the simplest yet truest quotes I have seen about positive mental health. If I didn’t have the amazing support network around me, I would probably not be able to sit here right now and be open about what I have been through and what I am going through every day of my life. So, my blog today is a thank you to everyone who has been a supporter of me not only in the past few weeks but also over the past few years. I truly am very grateful and very lucky to have so many incredible people in my life.
The people around us are what keep us going and give us strength when we cannot find it in ourselves. I would never be able to truly thank my family, friends and Scotty for the lengths that they go through to try and make me smile and look after me every day (even from 6,000 miles away) but I am going to try my best…
To my mum and dad,
Thank you for always being at the other end of the phone when I need a chat and for always being there when I need comforting on my bad days, even from half way around the world. I ring my mum pretty much every day and most of the time it’s when I am feeling a little sad and I just want to chat to see how her day is going to take my mind off things. Thank you for being the most incredible parents to me and I am so proud of how close we are and how I can come to you with any of my problems at any time and you will find out a way to tackle it with me.
Mum, you will never know how much I appreciate your support in the way you backed me to move away to a different country to pursue my dreams. I will be forever grateful for that stable upbringing you provided for me in order to become the person I am today. You are one of the strongest people I have ever met and that is something I will always try and be too. You are my best friend and if I turn into half the woman you are one day, I will be so proud.
Dad, thank you for being there through everything. You know what I mean when I say this, but thank you for showing me what being a real dad means and doing the best you can for our family. I love you with all my heart and I will always try and repay you for the things you do for me as best as I can.
To my best friends back home,
You girls and boys are my absolute rocks. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have friends like you and I am so glad we have grown up together and still remained so close even though I am so far away. Not many of my friends were aware of the things I go through but the select few who did, proves exactly what friendship is about. Every single one of you have kept me smiling in your own little ways and have been so loyal to me even though we do not get to see each other as much as I would like. Like the quote says, “But your best friend is still your best friend. Even from half a world away. Distance cannot sever that connection. Best friends are the kind of people who can survive anything. And when best friends see each other again, after being separated by half a world and more miles than you can think you can bear, you pick up right where you left off, after all, that’s what best friends do.”
Eden, thank you for being my life counsellor day in day out, you keep me sane and level headed and you are my voice of reasoning in hard times. I love you for everything you do for me and I will always be so fond of how similar we are and the bond that we have. Liv, thank you for always keeping me laughing and smiling every single day of my life. I am so proud to say we have been this close for nearly 15 years and not a day has gone by where we haven’t laughed. My best memories are with you and I look forward to everything single day we spend today – ‘a day without laughter is a day wasted’ will forever be for us. Georgie, thank you for always being the most supportive friend and positive person. You and I have never, ever had our differences and I am so excited for the future for you. Thank you for making me an auntie to two beautiful little girls and I cannot wait to see you walking down that aisle next year. I love you to the death! Danielle, you are my forever friend – just like our bracelets, it will always be true. Thank you for always being there to confide in and making me feel a little less alien to everyone else. I will always love our midnight chats and the way we know exactly how each other is feeling. I love you always. Maisie – You aren’t my friend, you are my little sister. That naughty sister that steals all of my clothes (when I am home) and asks for my advice even though I sometimes might not have the answer. Thank you for ALWAYS being there for me and sending me videos at least once a week of you singing Eminem into your hair brush after you’ve got out of the shower. You will never understand the unconditional love I have for you. Alex – My most favourite boy (sorry Scotty!) Thank you for making me die of laughter every single day even from afar, even on the days I don’t feel like smiling. I will always look back at all of our memories and laugh my head off. We have had some of the funniest times and I am so lucky to have a friend like you in my life. You aren’t my friend, you are part of my family (I think my mum prefers you over me!) and you are one of my biggest supporters and for that I will be forever grateful.
To my Scotty,
Thank you for being my boyfriend, best friend and family wrapped into one. Moving away from home meant that we only had each other to be all of these things for a while and you were my strength when I needed it most. I always bring you up in my blogs but I am so proud of us and how far we have come on this journey together. You will never know just how much I appreciate everything you do for me, us and our little family together and I cannot wait for the future and our adventures. As long as I have you, I will be forever happy.
To my other little supporters of my blog. This goes especially out to Sarah, El, Sean, Jo, Tereza and my other close friends and family. Thank you for always being so caring and positive about my blogs. It fills me with so much more confidence (which is what I definitely need!) and thank you for always being so kind to me. You are all amazing people and so, so kind hearted. People like you guys are the reason that I am so much happier and confident today and we need more people like you in the world.
So today, I challenge everyone to say thank you to at least one person who has made a difference to your lives. Everyone goes through hard times but it’s the people around us who make them hard times just a little more bearable. We all have the most important people around us and it’s important to always make them feel appreciated.